These two pix were done using Photobooth for Mac. I did minimal editing through iPhoto to try to emphasize the expressions. My idea was to depict 'happy' (the top) and 'sad' (the bottom). Sad was a lot harder using the high contrast thermal effect I chose. It is actually sort of hard to make a recognizable 'sad' face. I received good news regarding the submission of a research report yesterday. Today I had an invitation to present at what I consider a prestigious conference (unfortunately the timing may prevent me from taking advantage of this opportunity). Not unexpectedly, I experienced a great deal of satisfaction as a result of these two ego strokes. On the other hand, fairly recently I experienced an outright rejection of a research report. Not terribly long ago, I was turned down for a poster presentation at a conference (and since I tend to think that just about anyone can get a poster accepted in any conference - which is probably not true, by the way - this made the rejection sting even more). A slightly revised abstract reflecting the same work was accepted for an oral presentation at a larger conference. My mood, again, not unexpectedly, was swinging up and down with these occurrences.
This has led me to reflect on the value of my work and how I determine that value. In fact, I think it may tend to spill over into influencing my interpretation of the value of myself. Is my research only good when someone else thinks it is good? How much weight should I place on the peer review process? After all, I know (everyone knows) that some of the 'peers' have limited knowledge, make errors, and are also prone to the impact of having a bad day. I think that it is also statistically probable that at least some are flaming idiots and have no business reviewing anyone's work. I do want to state at this point that many academics are conscientious, considerate, knowledgeable and helpful. But just like in every other field, there are people who are better or worse at various aspects of the job. As a result of these thoughts, I have determined that I need to try to place less value (like that will be easy!) on the comments of others when it comes to assessing myself. In other words, I need to work harder to separate my work from myself. I think this may be particularly difficult for me as a new researcher - because I do not have past experiences to fall back on. I also know as a competitive recreational runner/triathlete that sometimes other people are impressed by what I consider a mediocre performance (or discount what I consider a great performance if it results in a low overall finish). Still, I plug away over and over again and have good, average and even some pretty bad performances. Somehow, though, research in comparison - especially qualitative research - seems to contain a much more personal part of me. It is going to be hard not to feel as if it is me, and not just the output that is being judged.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI am Sheryl L. Chatfield, Ph.D, C.T.R.S. I am a member of the faculty in the College of Public Health at Kent State University. I also Co-coordinate the Graduate Certificate in Qualitative Research and I am a member of the Design Innovation Team at Kent State. Archives
February 2024
Categories
|